Have you ever felt like you’re talking and talking, saying the same thing over and over, and just being flat-out ignored?
This happened to me recently. My daughter’s shorts got muddy (we were camping), and I’d encouraged her to wash them in the water spigot (an object of immense fascination). As she began, I could tell she needed to pee. Like many kids, she’ll do a potty dance ’til the cows come home before admitting she has to go.
“Sweetie, why don’t you go to the bathroom,” I said. “You can wash your shorts after that.”
She continued washing her shorts. Meanwhile, she was doing that butt-way-back marching-slowly-in-place crouch thing.
“I can see you need to go potty,” I said. “Let’s go to the bathroom — it’s right here. And then we’ll come back to finish washing your shorts.”
She continued washing her shorts.
“Little G!” I said, coming closer. “Potty first. Shorts later.”
“OH!” she exclaimed, as though suddenly enlightened. “Potty first! Shorts later!”
And she happily ran off to the bathroom.
What the…? I thought. My daughter is unusually articulate. She started speaking in sentences at 17 months old. She could recite lengthy books before age 3. So I kind of thought it didn’t apply to her, the idea that when parents talk too much, kids mainly hear “Blah blah blah.”
“Talk to your baby — a lot” is a key tip in my book, Zero to Five: 70 Essential Parenting Tips Based on Science. As a parent, I really took it to heart. Maybe that’s why I’ve never paused to define “talking too much.” But the tip is actually about creating a conversation with your baby about the world she’s encountering.
It doesn’t refer to making requests. And it doesn’t excuse a bunch of filler words.
Well, my daughter just schooled me on filler words.
Lesson learned.
Our action item this week: When you make a request, move in close, get down at eye level, use fewer words, and don’t end with “OK?”
Written by
Tracy Cutchlow
Tracy is the author of the international bestseller Zero to Five: 70 Essential Parenting Tips Based on Science, a public speaker, and a creator of places to speak and be heard. Sign up for her newsletter here.