When PBS NewsHour ran a column headlined “Why you should never use time-outs on your kids,” parents had furious reactions. Part of the reason is confusion over the terms punishment and discipline. The words are often used interchangeably. But there is a difference, and we owe it to our children to know it. Punishment is to make kids suffer to […]
You handled that. You knew what your kid needed. You listened. You showed love. You worked so hard. You made it work. You’re a good mom. You don’t hear it often. You don’t hear it enough. Usually you have to say it to yourself. Say it.
“Why you should never use time-outs on your kids” was the recent PBS News Hour headline. The story argued that certain time-outs are punishments, punishments are harmful to kids, and parents should use alternatives. That sparked some exasperated comments: “Punishments teach our kids that there are consequences for their actions.” “Since all punishments are bad, […]
You’re sitting at work, thinking about all the work left to do, how much your team relies on you. You’re sure your boss is going to be disappointed, beneath that layer of congratulations. You work up the nerve to have the conversation. In the middle of breaking the news that you’re pregnant, it’s tempting to blurt out your devotion: “I’ll be back at work as […]
My daughter’s friend is turning 4. “We need to get a birthday present,” I told her, and started figuring out when we could go to a toy store. My daughter’s excitement was off the charts. “Oooh, oooh, oooh!” she squealed. “I want to take a paper plate! And I want to make her a silver cat! I […]
Dog poop on the sidewalk: my 4-year-old spotted it. “Someone left that mess there. That’s not cool!” I said. “That’s not cool!” she agreed. “It’s our responsibility to clean up our own messes,” I said. “Yeah!” she said. “I always try to clean up my own messes,” she said. “That’s wonderful,” I said. And I […]
Do you struggle to set healthy boundaries around screen time? Do you want your kids to enjoy the digital world–without forgetting how to hit the OFF switch? Concerned about how you’ll handle your kids’ social media or cell phone use down the road? Even though I’m pretty committed to avoiding screen time for my daughter (apart from […]
Knock on my door any random afternoon and you might think five children live at my house instead of one. (Did I tell you we moved from our condo to a house? It’s awesome because G can jump, run, and dance to her heart’s content. On the flip side: more room for messes to accumulate.) […]
“Mama, what is my life?” It’s not often we parents pause to reflect on the memorable events of our children’s lives. Today, on my daughter’s 4th birthday, I got that chance. It wasn’t something I thought to do on my own. I was caught up in planning a fairy princess party and the happy chaos […]
Let’s say you’re a kid. You’re at the playground. Your grown-up brought you there to, presumably, have fun. There’s a structure for climbing. You climb on it. Your grown-up is standing down below you. And he or she is saying this: No. No–wait. Don’t put your foot there. Come back around this way. I don’t– You’re […]