To the mamas, on Mother’s Day:

I hope you have a lovely day today. One that ends with gratitude for family and receiving something you needed.

It’s a good time to think beyond today. What else do YOU need in your life? Is there a piece of yourself that’s been forgotten? Some piece that was central to you being who you are, but that necessarily slipped out of your arms as they overflowed with all the new pieces related to being a parent?

What’s the first thing that comes to mind? Yes, that one! Could it be time to get a bit of it back into your life? If so, how might you do it?

Not in an “I’d like to get back to painting” kind of way. More like in an “I will ask my partner/friend/mom/retired neighbor/all of the above to play with my child for two hours every Thursday at 5 p.m. so I can set up my easel in this particular place I’ve chosen and paint” kind of way. Or an “I will set up a spot for my kids and we’ll all paint together” kind of way. There’s no rule that you have to be alone.

Get specific.

Sure, we can’t spend all weekend with watercolors or cameras or power tools or video games or concerts, or whatever it is, like we used to. That may not feel necessary anyway. I like to joke that, before kids, my husband and I chose hikes based on “How steep is it? How long is it? How awesome are the views at the top?” Now it’s “How flat is it? How short is it? How lovely is the lunch spot?” But that’s cool. Our real need is just to spend time in nature.

Think of something important that’s gone missing from your life. What’s your underlying need? How could it be met? Mother’s Day is a fine day to say, “You know, there’s one more thing I’d really love…”

Written by

Tracy Cutchlow

Tracy is the author of the international bestseller Zero to Five: 70 Essential Parenting Tips Based on Science, a public speaker, and a creator of places to speak and be heard. Sign up for her newsletter here.