To the mamas, on Mother’s Day: I hope you have a lovely day today. One that ends with gratitude for family and receiving something you needed. It’s a good time to think beyond today. What else do YOU need in your life? Is there a piece of yourself that’s been forgotten? Some piece that was central to you being […]
“If you wanted to create an education environment that was directly opposed to what the brain was good at doing, you probably would design something like a classroom.” Thus goes a line in the bestseller Brain Rules by John Medina. It’s a quote I can’t get out of my head lately. Many of us have spent the past few months thinking […]
“Should WE try that?” A friend had just come back unscathed from a road trip to Yellowstone with her 5-year-old, and we thought, “Huh.” We decided to do it. Of course the big unknown was how G would do on the 12-hour car ride from Seattle to Yellowstone. She’d be solo in the back seat, […]
“You’re full? But you didn’t eat very much.” “Just two more bites, OK?” “Finish everything on your plate and then you can have dessert.” Our intentions are good. But in bribing–or pleading, chasing, commenting, shaming, or hovering–the message we’re really sending is unintended: Ignore your body’s signals for hunger and fullness. Ignore your body’s natural ability to […]
“He said don’t tell.” The mother’s heart dropped. The night before, at bath time, they had talked about private parts being private and who to tell if someone tells you not to tell. Now they were on their way to school. “Don’t tell what?” The 4-year-old was quiet. The mother waited. The girl started humming. The […]
Knock on my door any random afternoon and you might think five children live at my house instead of one. (Did I tell you we moved from our condo to a house? It’s awesome because G can jump, run, and dance to her heart’s content. On the flip side: more room for messes to accumulate.) […]
Let’s say you’re a kid. You’re at the playground. Your grown-up brought you there to, presumably, have fun. There’s a structure for climbing. You climb on it. Your grown-up is standing down below you. And he or she is saying this: No. No–wait. Don’t put your foot there. Come back around this way. I don’t– You’re […]
The brain is wired to resist coercion. That’s why being told what to do triggers defiance. Unless we feel very connected, in that moment, to the person telling us what to do. This is an intriguing piece of the parenting puzzle that I wrote about in “The secret to stopping power struggles.” Here are some ideas for creating a little connection in the moment: 1. […]
Q. My daughter (age 2 1/2) is very ‘full on’ for want of a better term. I’m a stay-at-home mum, and from the moment we get up till the moment she goes to bed, she demands constant attention all day. She doesn’t play by herself and always asks me to play with her … which of course […]
Raise your hand if you can relate to this question from K.G.! Oh, everyone? Excellent. Q. I made grilled chicken breasts and cut it up for my nearly 3-year-old — who then had a fit because he wanted a big piece. And this trivial little thing made me really uncertain about what to do. Do I refuse to […]