Will I create a spoiled kid if I give in to the tantrum?

Raise your hand if you can relate to this question from K.G.! Oh, everyone? Excellent. Q. I made grilled chicken breasts and cut it up for my nearly 3-year-old — who then had a fit because he wanted a big piece. And this trivial little thing made me really uncertain about what to do. Do I refuse to […]



When your kid hits another kid (what to say in the moment)

It’s the worst feeling: your kid hits another kid (or bites or embeds fingernails in or otherwise mauls another kid) during a play date. You make sure the other kid is OK, and now you turn to yours. The pressure’s on: the kid’s parent is looking at you, or pretending not to look at you. You […]



How to get your kids to listen to you

Have you ever felt like you’re talking and talking, saying the same thing over and over, and just being flat-out ignored? This happened to me recently. My daughter’s shorts got muddy (we were camping), and I’d encouraged her to wash them in the water spigot (an object of immense fascination). As she began, I could tell she needed to […]



This is how you truly listen to an angry kid

My preschooler came out of her room and stomped once. I carried her back to bed. As I turned to leave, she called out: “When we were camping, C wanted to be alone and I kept at him, and he hurt me. He hit me first. I hit him second. Next time we go camping, I’m […]



Could you live without your TV?

The TV is gone from our living room. And it was my husband’s idea. He is a sports fan, so we’ll see how this goes. The plan is that he’ll walk down the street to a neighborhood bar to watch the occasional game. Or go at a friend’s house. That’s always sounded nicer to me than watching at home–more social, […]



Routines that won’t make you pull your hair out

When your anchors are missing, you feel it. Your ship floats this way and that. There’s a heightened level of turbulence — whining, clinging, hitting — all the signs that kids feel overwhelmed. You get this feeling that your days need more structure. If you’re getting that feeling, too, this post is for you. There are a couple ways to think of […]



‘Excuse me’: A sleep doc’s secret for getting kids to sleep on their own

Sleep researchers who attended last week’s SLEEP 2015 conference in Seattle were fascinated to learn about new genetic targets for narcolepsy in mice, non-drug treatments for insomnia, and why recovering from a week of bad sleep isn’t as simple as sleeping in on the weekend. I was fascinated, too. But as a parent, the most useful […]



What should your child be doing in preschool? Not sitting around

“Should I hold my son back from kindergarten?” a mom asked me. Her child was at a play-based preschool, and she was worried that he wasn’t ready for kindergarten because he didn’t know his letters and numbers. Play-based preschools, I assured her, are the big trend for an important reason: Play is how children learn. […]



Don’t have a village? How to create one

Occasionally I speak in summits like this one, and the conversation is lively. Dr. Laura Markham talked about giving ourselves permission to be less productive. Lori Petro talked about healing ourselves if we didn’t grow up with good role models for communication. I talked about letting our kids do things for themselves — and asking […]



Parenting school starts May 20 — free

Have more parenting questions than I can answer once per week? Of course you do! So do I. Luckily for us, a new 21-day parenting summit is starting up this week: Be The Best Parent You Can Be Live – 2015 Online Event It’ll feature 21 leading experts in child development, education, nutrition, sleep, child […]



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