To the mamas, on Mother’s Day: I hope you have a lovely day today. One that ends with gratitude for family and receiving something you needed. It’s a good time to think beyond today. What else do YOU need in your life? Is there a piece of yourself that’s been forgotten? Some piece that was central to you being […]
A parent wrote me with a delicate question: How to stop a toddler from rubbing herself between the legs at preschool, without making the act itself shameful? Here’s our exchange. My daughter’s nursery has informed me that in the last few days, she has taken to lying on her tummy and wiggling her hips and […]
“You’re full? But you didn’t eat very much.” “Just two more bites, OK?” “Finish everything on your plate and then you can have dessert.” Our intentions are good. But in bribing–or pleading, chasing, commenting, shaming, or hovering–the message we’re really sending is unintended: Ignore your body’s signals for hunger and fullness. Ignore your body’s natural ability to […]
Knock on my door any random afternoon and you might think five children live at my house instead of one. (Did I tell you we moved from our condo to a house? It’s awesome because G can jump, run, and dance to her heart’s content. On the flip side: more room for messes to accumulate.) […]
Let’s say you’re a kid. You’re at the playground. Your grown-up brought you there to, presumably, have fun. There’s a structure for climbing. You climb on it. Your grown-up is standing down below you. And he or she is saying this: No. No–wait. Don’t put your foot there. Come back around this way. I don’t– You’re […]
The brain is wired to resist coercion. That’s why being told what to do triggers defiance. Unless we feel very connected, in that moment, to the person telling us what to do. This is an intriguing piece of the parenting puzzle that I wrote about in “The secret to stopping power struggles.” Here are some ideas for creating a little connection in the moment: 1. […]
Q. I grew up in a home where I was never allowed to be messy. My grandmother or mother always quickly cleaned up everything in anger. I don’t want to be that kind of parent! I don’t want my child constantly caught up in my anxiety. My daughter is 14 months. She loves to rearrange things […]
Raise your hand if you can relate to this question from K.G.! Oh, everyone? Excellent. Q. I made grilled chicken breasts and cut it up for my nearly 3-year-old — who then had a fit because he wanted a big piece. And this trivial little thing made me really uncertain about what to do. Do I refuse to […]
Last week my 3-year-old fell off the swing and face-planted on the ground. She laid there for a second, and I got down next to her. She wasn’t crying, so I said, “What do you see?” “My necklace,” she replied, and she got rather interested in checking out its detail. “Interesting blades of grass there, too,” […]
It’s the worst feeling: your kid hits another kid (or bites or embeds fingernails in or otherwise mauls another kid) during a play date. You make sure the other kid is OK, and now you turn to yours. The pressure’s on: the kid’s parent is looking at you, or pretending not to look at you. You […]